can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize