i barfeds in our rink
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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