that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
