Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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