I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize