Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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