I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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