i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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