And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
