Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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