That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize