It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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