I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
