who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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