ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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