alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
