hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
