Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Rumble strips road head = magical
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
