I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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