Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i believe in u and ur pee
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
