Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize