just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
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How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
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I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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