i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He kissed a someone with a penis
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
