do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
