is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
