thus making me awesome and them whores
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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