As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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