TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
