I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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