she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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