oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
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