Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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