i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
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She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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