I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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