Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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