Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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