The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
