pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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