this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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