You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize