i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
