Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
