i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
