i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
