don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?