i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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