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• (516): View more from New York

  why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better

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  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm

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• 

  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you sleep with him again?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.

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• (949): View more from California

  Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers

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