dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
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How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
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There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.