Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
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Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
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Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.