Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.

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  (310): u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened. http://tfl.nu/5zha
  Replies (33) Good night (7313) Bad night (1221)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

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  (845): I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach. http://tfl.nu/7dp2
  Replies (34) Good night (1381) Bad night (5246)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too

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  (703): well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too http://tfl.nu/1ldg
  Replies (18) Good night (6782) Bad night (918)
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  (916): View more from California

  She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.

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  (916): She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/9b1u
  Replies (17) Good night (1402) Bad night (5817)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am

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  (973): America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am http://tfl.nu/1gc0
  Replies (8) Good night (7202) Bad night (873)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?

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  (704): Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year? http://tfl.nu/w9x5
  Replies (6) Good night (3878) Bad night (1081)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!

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  (352): Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?! http://tfl.nu/wryd
  Replies (11) Good night (2492) Bad night (799)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key

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  (609): Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key http://tfl.nu/pj3h
  Replies (7) Good night (1990) Bad night (768)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.

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  (304): Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this. http://tfl.nu/ysuz
  Replies (3) Good night (1310) Bad night (500)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up

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  (215): When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up http://tfl.nu/2k98
  Replies (9) Good night (499) Bad night (2037)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  Bringing families together since 1987

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  (360): I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis. (1-360): Bringing families together since 1987 http://tfl.nu/o9ey
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump

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  (860): I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump http://tfl.nu/62ek
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.

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  (401): I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever (1-401): They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense. http://tfl.nu/jju4
  Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Remember when I said I had my shit together?

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  (203): I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room..... (203): Remember when I said I had my shit together? http://tfl.nu/xvhs
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours

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  (662): His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours http://tfl.nu/j499
  Replies (8) Good night (364) Bad night (816)

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