we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?