I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
