Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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