your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
