clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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