Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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