What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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