No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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