So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I could fuck to npr.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
