dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
