why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
