please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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