yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
