i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
