im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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